To move on

Not once could you stand for me,

You had not guts to hold me,
To make those moments mean forever,

That were once in my spheres,
That meant never to be over.

You made huge promises,

But each in halfheartedness,

That became alive with every dawn,

And fell apart with every dusk.

In belief I trusted each word you said,

In faith I waited quiet beside you,

In hope for that eternity with you,

I averted my present and let it go.

You picked and pricked,
Every part of my heart,
Where blood oozed with your name in it.

What did you think I was made of?

A paper to be torn and thrown,

Or a stone to be crushed and broken,

Alas you never realised,

That I was a woman to be loved and lived.

I lost in the struggle to be loved,

Not again would I let you take a chance,

To play with my heart and leave it in a stance,

I promise to move on,

For the love which was your lie. 

I heard the song, "Jar of Hearts" by Christina Perri and was inspired to write this :)

Time and Again !!

Haiku Prompt #266: "Time"

The Haiku Prompt inspired by "Haiku Heights" is "TIME".

We witness the only constant change every single day. Don't we?

Only constant change,

No stoppable barricades,

We move with it's pace.

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I cry in vain every morning when my alarm rings. Don't you?

Assiduously,

Averting irritation,

Rings the alarm, vain.

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On her wedding !!

It was a rainy evening,

The mighty clouds thundering,

The window panes shuddering,

And her heart inversely beating.

T'was the day of her wedding,

With eyes moist and gleaming,

She stood near the window staring,

A letter which said NO, in her hand holding.

He was never there,

And she was left to be nowhere,

With promises to keep,

A long life to leap.

In the thuds of the droplets,

That hit her window's glasses,

She hid her sobs and tears,

Reminiscing those blissful moments.

He was gone forever,

She was meant for another,

What remained were just a few glimpses,

Of the times that passed in smiles,

She hopelessly stood waiting,

Decked in a white gown shimmering,

Thinking he would come at the door standing,

 On that rainy evening. 

Who dominates you ?

The famous Italian painter who had given the world eminent works of art like the Mona Lisa and The Last supper had experienced a hard time in figuring out how Jesus and his 12 disciples looked in real.

Hence, he decided to search for look-a-likes and paint the master piece. But obvious, he began with Jesus Christ and was in pursuit of a man who had a very striking face and pleasing and elegant features. After a few days of search, he found one such man in one of the churches. This man's face was so captivating that Leornado immediately inquired if this man would be affirmative about letting himself get portrayed.

The noble man eventually agreed and Da Vinci went ahead to paint Jesus. The painting of the Last Supper has Jesus sitting in the center of a table along side his 12 disciples who are seated in a semi-circle.



The portrait of Jesus was complete and Leornado went on to paint the remaining disciples. Being a perfectionist, he was again in search of finding a face that resembled Judas Iscariot. For those who do not know who this person is, let me tell you that Judas was one of the 12 disciples and he was the man who betrayed Jesus and handed him over to be crucified.

Knowing about this and history, Da Vinci was on the lookout for a face that showed evil characteristics. He eventually found a beggar along the street who had a very unpleasant and vicious look. This man agreed to get himself painted as Judas. Da Vinci who was finally elated that his painting was complete asked this man, "Sir, May I know your name please?"

The beggar looked as him surprisingly and asked, "Don't you remember me Sir?"

Leornado Da Vinci replied negatively to which the beggar said, "Sir, I was the same person whom you had called to paint the picture of Jesus Christ"

I bet you must be awestruck at this flabbergasting history behind the very famous portrait in history.

The reason why I used this small story as an anecdote was to signify that each of us have a part of Judas and Jesus inside us. We posses evil and benevolence and are endowed with it. But the point here is, who dominates us? Or put the other way, whom do we allow to dominate us?

Do we let the good take a higher stance on us or so we show our evil side often to the world around us?
The answer can be well explained with this cliche, "You see around you what you wish to see". Indeed, If we choose to see evil around us, we will find fault in everyone and everything surrounding us.

But if we wish to be good and see good, the world will be a better place to live it.

So who do you want to be in this world?

Who dominates you ??

An open question without a distinct answer .....

The summer's day tale

                                                     

There I go to flaunt my WOW badge again. A second post at blogadda that became post with the "WOW" factor :)

It was the second last day of school. As always, I parked my bicycle in the stand and ran to my classroom. I threw my bag on the third bench in the last row and ran outside the class to the back gate of my school.

The grass was my refuge whenever my black shoes were filled with mud. I hurriedly rubbed my shoes on the grass to look neat and tidy. 

“I hope my ribbons are in place”, I murmured to myself and adjusted the ribbons tied on my hair. He would be here in no time and my lips will unknowingly broaden to flash a radiating smile which would make my eyes jealous and they would widen up in excitement.

Just two more days and we would part ways. I may never meet him again.

I don’t know if I would be able to tell him how much I liked him.

There was a deep anxiety inside and I didn't know what this feeling was as I was very young.

“It’s just infatuation, Suzanne”, My elder sister had warned me.

With a million confusions at the age of 14 I was unsure if my hormones were changing and playing cynical notes of symphony in my heart.

“Suzzane….. “

“Suzanne……………….” I felt a hand on my shoulders trying to wake me up from a dream. Startled by the voice, I turned.

It was him, he was standing in front of me in body and spirit......... and my mind and soul had suddenly stopped functioning making me search for words....

“Rishab….hmmmm…. ahem…”

Unknowingly, I waved him a “hi” although he stood just a feet away.

“Suzanne, It’s our second last day at school and we still haven’t exchanged our phone numbers. Can I have your number?” he casually asked me.

“Of course, give me a paper I will write it for you” , He pulled out  a paper from his book and gave it to me. I hastily penned my phone number with a broad smile on my face.

School got over and within a month, Rishab had called me twice on my phone.  

Daddy had got transferred and we were moving out of Guwahati  to Delhi. 
Sheena, my sister was excited as we were going to live in the capital city of India. Everyone at home were elated, but I sat in the corner waiting for everyone to leave me alone for sometime so I could pick up the phone and dial Rishab’s number to inform him that I would be leaving the city soon.

It was the 31^st of May 2003, a hot summer day when Daddy, mummy, Sheena and I left out of our two bedroom apartment on Lokhra road in Guwahati.

We crossed our school and I screamed, “Daddy wait, please stop the car”

To everyone’s surprise I ran out of the car in speed and went straight to the third gate.

I wanted to see him once before I could go, but he wasn’t there.  He had called me earlier that day to say that he would wait at school for me. 

"Where was he? "

“Maybe he never felt the way I felt for him”

“I was such a fool to be crazy for him”

I sat on the grass and sobbed till Sheena convinced me to get into the car. Mummy and Daddy thought that I was going to miss school.

Years passed and after that summer's day, I had never tried to contact Rishab. Life had changed and I had begun to move on. Maybe I was angry that he didn't turn up that day or maybe I was ashamed that I was such a fool to be mad for someone who didn't deserve my affection.

8 years later I was invited for a reunion party at school in Guwahati. On having convinced mom and dad I left for Guwahati.

Although I had decided that I would never step into my school again, I deeply wanted to go for the reunion because of a very obvious reason.

The school hall was decorated and I caught a glimpse of all the familiar faces. As I slowly began greeting everyone, the blood started racing in my arteries because in no time I would be greeting Rishab.

My eyes kept glaring at the door.Half an hour had passed and eventually I had begun to loose hope. The next few minutes were lost in the visions from the past until something unexpected happened.

"Looking out for me?" A familiar voice reached my ears. Rishab stood behind me in a black blazer and looked stunning as ever.

I tried not to reveal my excitement on seeing him. I didn't want to be fooled again. But to my surprise he leaned forward to give me a light hug.

On asking the waiter to prepare a drink for him, he held out a glass of coke. "There's too much of commotion here. Come with me" He pulled my hand and led me towards the back gate of our school. I was truly awed. 

"You look beautiful, Suzzy", He said with a softness in his voice.

"And you look dashing Rishab...." I paused and said, "As always !!!"

We spoke about work and I got to know that he was working as a software engineer in Australia. He suddenly deviated from the topic and began talking about the days we spent in school.

"I am sorry Suzzane, I couldn't make it that day when you left Guwahati" He began to answer me the question I dared to ask him.

"I was helpless" He said with pitiful eyes."I had slipped from my cycle that day while coming to meet you and fractured my right leg. I couldn't even contact you later as I didn't have your phone number."

His eyes gleamed intensely as he tried to justify destiny that had torn us apart on that summer's day. I looked into his eyes and in a minute forgot all the anger that was buried deep inside.

"I had a confession to make Suzzane" he came closer to me just an inch away and said, "I had a mad crush on you when we were in school, I just didn't have the guts to tell you. I would wait to see you every morning near this gate"

Had cupid actually struck him? As I couldn't believe my ears. Was it a dream? My heart began to play a million romantic bollywood numbers.

That evening I confessed about the feelings that I had for him in school. We spoke ignoring all of the other classmates. It was actually a reunion of two hearts who were separated by time.

He dropped me at my hotel and I stepped out of the car.

"Suzzy"

"Yes Rishab" I turned to hear him.

"Will you be free tomorrow morning before you take your flight back home?"

"Yes I would make myself free Rishab"

I waved him a bye, turned 180 degrees and I blushed thinking that he had actually asked me out.

The stars sparkled above me and the moon smiled as I blushed reminiscing every single minute of the day.

Wondering what would happen the next day I fought with my pillows trying hard to cross the sleepless night and meet him again

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

Write Over the Weekend theme for this week

… And I Blushed! Write a post this weekend by including this phrase anywhere in your post. Let us know when, where and how it happened.

                

Sways and Swings

Haiku Prompt #264 : "Swing"

The Haiku Prompt inspired by "Haiku Heights" is "Swing".

The pendulum swings ceasing the past from us, making us live in the present and taking us to the future. 

To and fro it lilts,

Elapsed,current,future,

Ticks the pendulum

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Imagine a beautiful woman pass by, I am sure a million eyes will sway in sync with her movements.

Contemporary,

Eyeballs perceive her movements,

Natty, walks in style

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